The Curse of the Empowered Woman

I have been an avid Women’s Libber since I can remember. Always preaching about how important equality is to create and maintain an effective and successful society. My mother always showed us through actions how important strength and competence was to society, especially after my father had a stroke and was hospitalized for what felt like years.


The notion of becoming someone’s wife and popping out babies before accomplishing anything or even to go as far as to say given up accomplishments to be a wife and mother was not on my menu for life. Being a strong empowered woman comes at a price that is either talked about all the time or never talked about at all. It comes in waves.

But today, I must say, I learned a very valuable lesson.


For months I have been struggling with the typical issues. I’m single and some days are harder to deal with it than others. I am a full time employee. I am a part time college student. And above all else, I am a mother.


I quickly learned that I had to be self sufficient. I wasn’t about being the best at everything, but I certainly wanted to make the top five. The strength I have, the discipline and dedication I have to all of my projects in life, I have come to realize are a threat. I don’t need a boss to come in and fix every minor detail or problem; I can figure that on my own. I don’t always need a study group in school, I like studying by myself just fine. While parenting can be exhausting, the best method has proven to be effectively executed by me and me alone. I have learned to be self-sufficient and within that my strength is overflowing.


But let’s not kid, I am vulnerable. Anytime I am put down, I immediately become angered by the fact that my accomplishments always seem to be ignored. A woman cannot live on self-validation. It’s not possible to always be one’s own cheerleader. Once in awhile, I need someone else’s shoulder to cry on, or to lean on. Once in awhile I need someone to tell me I am doing a good job, whether it is at work, in school, or as a mom.


My lesson is this: Thank you Women’s Lib movement for making me realize I would much rather be a stay at home mom than be treated like shit by people who don’t even matter.

After I made this realization, I did some much needed thinking. If I don’t work hard and do what I am doing, then I am failing in all respects. People will always be threatened by those who have it together. I am in a generation that has been given the right to choose after many generations before fought for that right. But the choices have evolved. Instead of one choice we have many. If a woman wants to be at home with her kids that should be seen as an incredible and amazing decision. If a woman chooses to work and be mommy, that too deserves praise.